We tell potential employees what we want. We shouldn’t be surprised if they bend the truth to fit our requirements.
Although slightly ‘tongue in cheek’, the following list is based on actual recruitment experiences in real workplaces.
1. I’m self-motivated
…I applied, didn’t I?
2. I have excellent communication skills
…just don’t read my CV too closely.
3. I have industry experience
…not necessarily in this industry.
4. I love a challenge
…as long as it’s one I choose.
5. I’m very flexible
…so long as I can be out of here by 5.15 every day.
6. I believe in excellent customer service
…if I’m the customer.
7. I’m well organised
…in fact, I can spend all day tidying my desk and sorting my emails.
8. I can juggle priorities
…you’ll notice how I have Facebook and YouTube open at the same time.
9. Money isn’t important to me
…as long you pay me what I think I’m worth.
10. I’m a team player
...oh, you mean at work?
11. I work independently
…as long as I can go around asking everyone else for help.
12. I’m innovative
…just tell me what you want and I’ll Google it for you.
13. I have great interpersonal skills
…but please don’t ask me why I left my last job!
Too cynical? Too harsh?
If you’ve been caught out by any of these statements from a prospective employee, the good news is that there are independent ways to assess every one of them – if you’d rather get the full picture.
Of course, you may agree or disagree! I look forward to reading your comments.